Ma's Birthday
by Dr. Michaela Quinn
Summary: On Brian, Colleen and Matthew's mother's birthday a young 13 year old Colleen runs away because nobody seems to acknowledge that Charlotte Cooper existed and that worries and upsets Colleen.
1. Colleen Remembers

Colleen Cooper was sitting in school. One minute she was listening to Reverend Johnson and the next she was asleep. At the end of school, Reverend Johnson stopped Colleen. Brian waited for his sister standing by his desk.

"Go ahead Brian. I'll meet you at the clinic." Colleen said. Brian looked at Reverend Johnson.

"Is Colleen in trouble?" Brian looked at his sister. "Ma will want to know." Reverend Johnson chuckled.

"No Brian, Colleen isn't in trouble. I just want to talk to her." Reverend Johnson said.

"Okay." Brian replied and walked out of the room.

"Sit down Colleen." Reverend Johnson said. Colleen sat in the front of the room. Reverend Johnson sat at his desk. "You have fallen asleep a lot lately in school and I'm worried about you." Colleen sighed.

"I'm sorry Reverend Johnson. I just haven't been sleeping well the last few days." Colleen said with a laugh.

"I know that it hasn't been easy on you since your mother died. Have you talked to Dr. Quinn?" Reverend Johnson asked. Colleen looked down at her hands. After a long while she said,

"Dr. Mike wouldn't understand." Colleen said.

"How about me?" He asked. Colleen looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"Do you remember my Ma?" Colleen asked.

"Colleen, of course. Your mother was a wonderful lady."

"Yeah, she was." Colleen replied. "She was." She stood and cried. Reverend Johnson walked toward her and she ran outside. He ran to the door of the school.

"Colleen!" Reverend Johnson hollered. Colleen wiped the tears from her eyes as she walked into the clinic. Michaela was reading a book at the desk. She looked up when Colleen closed the door.

"Good afternoon Colleen. Brian is in the back room doing his homework. I sent him back there because I wanted to talk to you." Michaela said. Colleen looked down at the floor.

"Oh yeah? What do you want to talk about?" Colleen asked.

"Brian told me that Reverend Johnson kept you after school today. You always seem to have incomplete homework assignments; you fall asleep while doing your homework. Your grades have been slowly slipping for the last several weeks. Why is that?" Michaela asked.

"I don't know Doctor Mike. I guess I'm just going to have to work harder." Colleen said still not making eye contact with Michaela.

"Colleen, you want to go to medical school and become a doctor right?" She asked. Colleen looked up at her.

"More than anything." Colleen replied.

"Well, your grades right now are not medical school quality." Michaela said. Colleen shuffled her feet.

"Can I go now? I have some homework I need to do." Colleen said.

"Go on." Michaela replied. Colleen walked past and went into the other room where Brian was doing his homework.

"Hi Colleen. I'm sorry that I talked to Ma, but she asked where you were and I told her that you were with Reverend Johnson." Brian said. Colleen half smiled at her little brother. It wasn't his fault.

"It's okay Brian. I don't want you to lie to Doctor Mike." Colleen said.

"Okay. Well I didn't." Brian replied. Colleen smiled. "Have you finished your homework yet?" Brian nodded yes. "Why don't you go over to Grace's café while I do my assignments?" Colleen paused as Brian walked over to the door. "Wait Brian, do you remember Ma?"

"Our Ma?" Brian asked.

"Yeah Brian, our Ma." Colleen responded.

"But Doctor Mike is our Ma now." Brian said.

"I know that, but I mean the Ma that raised us. The Ma that loved us for a long time before we met Doctor Mike." Colleen said.

"I remember her Colleen. Why?" Brian asked.

"Her birthday is coming up. It's tomorrow actually. And nobody has even said anything about it. Not you, not Matthew, not Doctor Mike. I want to remember Ma, but it doesn't seem like anybody else does." Colleen replied. Brian walked over and hugged Colleen.

"I want to remember Ma, Colleen; it's just kind of hard because she's not here." Brian stated.

"Well I intend to make it feel like she is here." Colleen said. Brian walked out of the room. Colleen sighed and opened her reading book.

[

The next morning Colleen got out of bed and walked over to where Michaela was trying to make eggs for breakfast.

"Would you like some help with that?" Colleen asked. Michaela turned around and looked at her.

"Oh I think I can handle it Colleen. But thank you for asking. Why don't you just go get ready for school?" Michaela asked. Colleen turned around and headed back where she was going to change her clothes. She stopped and turned to face Michaela.

"Doctor Mike?" Colleen asked.

"Hmmm?" Michaela questioned turning to face her.

"Do you remember my Ma?" Colleen questioned. The pan on the fire started smoking.

"What? Please speak up Colleen." Michaela said.

"Do you remember my Ma?" Colleen asked a little bit louder. Michaela had to focus on the pan because it was too smoky and loud in the house. Colleen walked out of the kitchen and into the room where she sleeps. She pulls out a dress and slips it on. She picks up her schoolbooks and heads out the door.

"Where are you going?" Brian asked. Colleen looked at her brother.

"I'm just getting out of here. Don't tell Matthew or Doctor Mike that I'm leaving. I am going where I can celebrate Ma's birthday by myself." Colleen said.

"Okay." Brian replied. Colleen walked out the door and headed into the woods behind the house.


	2. Colleen Runs Away

After the fire cleared, Brian, Matthew and Michaela sat down to eat breakfast. Michaela realized that Colleen wasn't there.

"Brian? Matthew? Where is Colleen?" Michaela asked.

"I don't know Doctor Mike. She was here last night." Matthew replied. Brian heard two voices in his head. Both belonged to Colleen.

_"It's okay Brian. I don't want you to lie to Doctor Mike."_

_"I'm just getting out of here. Don't tell Matthew or Doctor Mike that I'm leaving. I am going where I can celebrate Ma's birthday by myself."_

"Brian? Do you know where Colleen is?" Michaela asked. Brian wiped his sweating hands on his pants. He couldn't look at her. "Brian?"

"Do you know where she is Brian?" Matthew chimed in. Brian looked at Matthew with a look of worry on his face, afraid to betray his sister.

"I think she just left for school early Ma." Brian replied. Then he sighed. He hadn't technically lied to Ma and Matthew. Colleen didn't say she wouldn't go to school later. That just wasn't where she was headed to begin with. Michaela took a bite of her eggs.

[

Brian walked to the school house later. When he got there Colleen was nowhere in sight. Brian got worried about his sister. Colleen never skipped school. This couldn't be good. Reverend Johnson walked over to him.

"Brian, is Colleen sick? She usually doesn't miss school." Reverend Johnson asked. Brian nodded.

"Oh yeah, she's really sick." Brian said.

"Well then, if you will just wait here with the other children I will take all her assignments over to Doctor Quinn at the clinic." Reverend Johnson stated.

"NO!" Brian hollered. Reverend Johnson looked at him.

"What's the matter Brian? I'm just taking over her assignments so she won't get behind."

"Colleen isn't at the clinic. She ain't sick." Brian said.

"She isn't? Well where is she?" Reverend Johnson asked.

"I… I don't know." Brian replied.

"What? Does Doctor Quinn known that she's missing?" Reverend Johnson questioned.

"No and you can't tell her." Brian responded.

"Why?" Reverend Johnson looked at Brian.

"I promised Colleen I wouldn't tell Ma that she was leavin'. Today is Ma's birthday. She said she was going to celebrate since nobody else wanted to acknowledge that it was Ma's birthday."

"Brian, she could be seriously hurt. We have to go to the clinic and tell Doctor Quinn." Reverend Johnson started walking towards the clinic. Brian chased after him.

"I'm going with you. Colleen's my sister." Brian and Reverend Johnson walked down to the clinic and Brian walked in. Michaela looked up at them.

"Brian? Reverend Johnson? What's the matter?" Michaela asked.

"Are you going to tell her Brian or should I?" Reverend Johnson questioned.

"Brian?" Michaela looked at him with concern in her eyes. Brian just looked at the floor and didn't say anything.

"Doctor Quinn, apparently Colleen has run away from home. She never came to school this morning. When I asked Brian about her, he said that she had left home. He wasn't willing to let it out. I practically had to drag it out of him." Reverend Johnson said. Michaela got on Brian's level and touched his shoulders.

"Brian, you told me that Colleen was leaving for school early. What's the matter with your sister?" Michaela asked.

"I don't know every Ma. She just left." Brian said. Sully walked into the clinic.

"Hi Michaela. Brian? What are you doing here? You have school today." Sully said and then looked at Reverend Johnson. "Reverend."

"Sully, Colleen has gone missing." Michaela said to him.

"What?" Sully questioned.

"Colleen ran away from home. I didn't know this earlier. Brian and Reverend Johnson have just brought it to my attention."

"We have to do something! I'll go get Cloud Dancing at the reservation, I know he'd help." Sully rushed out of the clinic and off to the Indian Reservation.

"We are going to need a lot of people to help find Colleen. I'll go ask Loren, you guys go find Matthew." Michaela said.

"Ma, what about school?" Brian asked. Reverend Johnson laughed and put his hands on Brian's shoulders.

"School can wait Brian. We can find Matthew and then we'll both head back to the school." Reverend Johnson said.

[

Michaela rushed from the clinic over to Loren's store.

"Oh what do you want?" Loren asked when Michaela walked in.

"Loren! Don't be rude." Olive said. "Well Dr. Mike, what brings you here this morning?" Olive crossed her arms while looking down at Michaela from her nose.

"It's Colleen. She's… she's run away from home. I need help finding her." Michaela said.

"This whole town helped Charlotte raise those children; I don't think anybody in this town wouldn't help you." Olive stated and walked towards the door.

"You're going to help me?" Michaela asked.

"Charlotte was my best friend. I have known Matthew, Colleen and Brian since they were all infants. I will help you look for her despite our differences." Olive walked out of the store. Michaela looked at Loren.

"Oh don't look at me like that! If I didn't come, Olive would ring my neck. Just let me close up the store. Stop by and see if Jake will come with us as well. I'm not going to be the only man looking with you women!" Loren exclaimed.

"Sully is going to be looking with us. It's not just me and Olive." Michaela replied. Loren scoffed.

"You heard what I said."

[

Reverend Johnson and Brian had taken Michaela's wagon and headed out to the homestead where Matthew was working outside. Matthew didn't look up and notice Reverend Johnson, but he did see his little brother.

"Brian? What are you doing here? You can't skip school." Matthew said.

"We were sent by Doctor Quinn Matthew. She wants you to go into town. Colleen ran away and they need you to help look." Reverend Johnson said. Matthew looked up at them.

"Colleen's gone? They don't know where she is?" Matthew asked.

"No they don't." Brian replied. Matthew dropped the wood on the ground and they all headed towards the wagon. "What about the firewood? Ma likes for you to have it all cut."

"Brian, it's more important that we find Colleen. I can't believe she'd run away from us. We're her family Brian." Matthew exclaimed.

"I know Matthew. We're trying to find her." Brian replied. Reverend Johnson rushed the wagon back into town.

[

"Cloud Dancing!" Sully yelled when he got onto the reservation. He ran through looking everywhere, with Wolf following close behind him. Cloud Dancing rushed over to him.

"Sully? What's the matter?" Cloud Dancing asked.

"You have to come into town with me."

"Sully, you know that I'm not allowed in town. The laws." Cloud Dancing stated.

"Doctor Mike's daughter Colleen is missing. We need your help. We have to look for her." Sully said.

"I remember when Colleen was young. I will help. But don't be upset if there is resistance from the town. You're people don't yet know how to come together in times of crisis. Their prejudices are still too high." Cloud Dancing said.

"We will make sure to take care of that. Come on." Sully replied. Cloud Dancing, Sully and Wolf fled the scene of the reservation and headed towards town.


	3. Cold & Alone

Two days later, Colleen was still sitting in the wilderness in the middle of the night. She was cold and alone. She hadn't packed any food and wasn't going to use her schoolbooks for firewood.

"Doctor Mike has given up looking for me. She would have found me if she cared to look enough." Colleen said to herself teary eyed. She wrapped her arms around her knees. "Ma, why did you leave us?" Colleen cried. She was hungry and thirsty. She decided she was just going to go home. She stood up and walked around trying to find her way out. After walking in a circle two or three times Colleen came to the conclusion,

"I'm lost!" Colleen said and then scowled. "Doctor Mike doesn't care where I am. She isn't even looking for me anymore and I can't even get home!" Colleen sat down and looked up into the clouds. "Happy Birthday Ma. I love you. Matthew, Brian and Doctor Mike seem to have forgotten you exist, but I love you anyway. I miss you Ma. I have a confession. I was mad at you for a long time because you died and left us here with Doctor Mike. I love her, but she's not you. She never will be you. But now I know you didn't have a choice. I miss you Ma, but I'm not mad anymore. It's getting dark, I should go to bed. You always taught me that going to bed early and getting up early was better than staying up late and getting up late. Good night Ma." Colleen said. She sighed and then she lay on a grassy patch on the ground and closed her eyes.

**A/N: I'm sorry this chapter is so short. I promise the rest of the chapters will be longer.**


	4. Colleen Was Found

Sully, Cloud Dancing, Matthew, Loren and Olive were standing in the clinic with Michaela. Brian was sitting on the operating table.

"What are we going to do about Colleen, Ma?" Brian asked. Michaela looked at him. Michaela walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"We'll find her Brian. We aren't going to stop looking until we find her." Michaela said. Loren started to look uncomfortable.

"Well, Dr. Mike, you know I do have a store to run." Loren said. Olive turned and faced her brother.

"Loren that is Charlotte's daughter we are talking about. This entire town helped her raise these kids when that good for nothing man ran off and left her with nothing. You can leave your store closed for one more day while we look for her." Olive stated. Loren grunted.

"Fine. You can pay to leave the store closed, but I don't plan on losing money because a girl ran away from home." Loren replied.

"I'm not paying for anything Loren. We're helping find Colleen if the store has to stay closed all year." Olive responded.

"Alright, I'll help." Loren said.

[

Cloud Dancing and Sully were walking out in the woods.

"Sully, maybe we shouldn't be walking in the same place. If we split up it would be easier to cover more ground." Cloud Dancing said.

"Okay. I think that's a good idea." Sully replied. He walked another direction and Cloud Dancing continued the way he was. "If you find Colleen just call out. I won't be too far from here." Cloud Dancing continued walking, further deep into the woods.

[

Colleen was sitting against a tree. She was cold and tired. Her hair was a mess and she wished she could find her way home. She was hungry and didn't want to be here. Colleen stood up and heard a loud noise behind her. She turned around and saw a bear growling. He looked right at her. She stood very still. Just then she saw something fly through the air and hit the bear. He whined and ran away. Somebody came over and grabbed a hold of Colleen. She tried to pull away.

"Colleen, stop. You're safe." They said. She turned around and saw that it was just Cloud Dancing.

"Oh Cloud Dancing, you scared me half to death. I'm so glad you got that bear." Colleen stated.

"Me too. Doctor Mike has been looking for you for days. I'm so glad we've finally found you." Cloud Dancing said.

"You can't tell Doctor Mike you found me." Colleen stated.

"What are you talking about? I have to tell them. You have to go home." Cloud Dancing replied.

"Not yet. I'm not going anywhere yet." Colleen exclaimed.


	5. Talking to Cloud Dancing

**A/N: I'm sorry it's been so long since I've written a chapter. I hope to have this story finished in a few weeks. Depending on how much I am able to write with my school starting back up again. Hopefully I will have this story done by Thanksgiving, but no promises. I've set deadlines for myself before and always failed to keep them. =( **

"Colleen, if you won't go home, you have to at least come back to the reservation with me. I can't leave you out here all by yourself." Cloud Dancing said. Colleen looked at him.

"I can't go with you. If I go to the reservation, you'll tell Dr. Mike and Sully. I can't have you do that. I don't want you to do that. If you make me go to the reservation I'll run away and Dr. Mike will never find me." Colleen said as she leaned up against the tree.

"Colleen, I can't leave you out in the woods like this. You could get really sick. I won't be here to get rid of the next bear who could want to hurt you." Cloud Dancing stated. Colleen looked up at him.

"If I went with you, Dr. Mike would know where I am. I don't want that to happen. That can't happen." Colleen replied. Cloud Dancing looked at her with a confused look.

"Why can't they find out where you are? They care about you very much. Dr. Mike took you in after your mother died. She wouldn't have done that if you didn't mean everything to her." Cloud Dancing said.

"Dr. Mike doesn't care anything about me! She forgot all about my Ma!" Colleen exclaimed with tears in her eyes.

"What are you talking about?" Cloud Dancing asked. "Dr. Mike remembers who your Ma is. She can't forget her any more than you can." Colleen looked at him.

"Brian calls her Ma. I asked her if she remembered my Ma a few days ago because it was Ma's birthday and Dr. Mike didn't know anything about it. She has forgotten about my Ma. Well I won't forget about her. I won't let Brian forget either. I think Dr. Mike and Matthew have already forgotten." Colleen replied. Cloud Dancing leaned down where Colleen was sitting.

"Colleen, nobody has forgotten your Ma. Dr. Mike has just been busy with different things at the clinic. Matthew and Brian will never forget her. We all loved your Ma Colleen. But you can't dwell in the past just because your Ma died." Cloud Dancing said. Colleen glared at him with her arms crossed.

"Is that what you think I'm doing?" Colleen asked.

"Colleen, you are living in the past. It hurts when you lose somebody so close to you. I know, don't forget about all the people on the reservation we've lost. Both my parents died when I was younger than you are. But life has to go on. I won't tell Dr. Mike or Sully that you are with me, but I'm not leaving you here alone. Do you agree to go to the reservation with me?" He asked. Colleen looked around.

"I guess I don't have much of an alternative. As long as you don't let Dr. Mike come for me, I'll go with you." Colleen stated.

"I can't promise she won't. But I won't ask her to come for you." Cloud Dancing said. With that Colleen stood up and followed Cloud Dancing out of the woods.


	6. Telling Doctor Mike

**A/N: Wow, it's been two years since I've updated? Well this story is going to be completed tonight=) Enjoy=)**

Cloud Dancing was in town the next day when he went to the clinic.

"Doctor Mike." He said when he walked in. She was sitting at the desk reading about a disease in her medical book when she looked up at him.

"What's wrong?" She asked. He walked closer to her.

"I've got Colleen."

"Colleen! How long have you had her?" Michaela exclaimed standing up. He looked around.

"I found her yesterday, but you can't go see her." Cloud Dancing stated. Michaela looked at him.

"What do you mean I can't go get her? I have to." He shook his head.

"I told her that I wasn't going to come find you. I don't want her to know I told you."

"Cloud Dancing, I need to find Colleen and talk to her. She's upset and we need to figure out what's going on." Sully walked into the clinic with Brian.

"Hey Ma!" Brian walked over and hugged her.

"Hi Brian." She replied.

"Well hi Cloud Dancing." Sully said and Cloud Dancing looked at him.

"Hello Sully."

"Why are you here?" Cloud Dancing looked at Michaela while Sully talked.

"I needed to talk to Doctor Mike." Sully nodded.

"I do too." He looked at Michaela. "I'm sorry Michaela, but we haven't been able to find Colleen anywhere. Matthew, Brian and I have been all over those woods."

"You won't find her Sully." Cloud Dancing said.

"We have to keep looking. We can't stop searching for her." Sully insisted.

"No, you won't find her because she's at the reservation." Cloud Dancing stated. Sully looked at her.

"You've got Colleen? We'll go get her." Sully looked at Michaela.

"You can't go yet. I'm working on trying to get her to go home. If you get her she could run again and be hurt severely this time." Sully nodded and looked at Michaela.

"He could be right Michaela." She shook her head.

"I just want to go get her and bring her here. She's made us all worried sick about her. She needs to be back here with us."

"Doctor Mike, I think leaving her for a while and letting her think is important. She's got a lot she has to think about. She's concerned about her ma's birthday and she's worried about everybody forgetting she existed; there are a lot of things running through her head and we need to take care of her." Michaela nodded.

"Alright." She was fighting the urge to rush out and give Colleen some of what she was thinking. At least she was safe, but why would she feel better going to the reservation than going back to the homestead? What was she hiding from? Would Michaela be able to figure out what was wrong with her daughter? Or was that the problem? Was she too close to the situation to figure out what was wrong? She knew the only thing she could do was sit and wait for Colleen to come to her.


	7. Acknowledgement

When Cloud Dancing got back to the reservation Colleen was sitting in the tent with Snowbird. Colleen turned when she heard his footsteps. Her face was red from where she had been crying. She had a blanket pulled up around her.

"You told them didn't you!" She exclaimed.

"Colleen!" Snowbird said. Colleen looked at her and then back at Cloud Dancing. She wiped the tears away from her face as she hiccupped.

"I'm sorry." She said between the sobs. "I don't think I can ever go back to Doctor Mike. She hates me now. I can't go see her again." Cloud Dancing followed her down the hill.

"Where will you go?" He asked her. She turned and looked at him.

"I don't know. I'll figure that out while I'm gone." Cloud Dancing caught up to her.

"You can't run. Doctor Mike is your ma, she loves you." He stated. Colleen glared at him.

"She is not my Ma. My ma is dead. Doctor Mike took us in because she didn't have another choice!" Colleen exclaimed. Cloud Dancing touched her arm.

"I was with Doctor Mike a while ago. She was really worried about you. She wanted to come see you." He said and she looked at him.

"Why didn't she-" She started to say.

"I told her not to come here." Cloud Dancing interrupted. "You have a lot you must work out for yourself and your ma before you can go back with Doctor Mike. It's important for you to do this first before you go back with them." Colleen nodded and sat down on a tree.

"I love her, I do you know." Colleen cried. Cloud Dancing nodded.

"I know."

"It's just so confusing." Colleen stated. "I love Doctor Mike and I'm starting to feel like she's our Ma, but I don't want to forget my Ma."

"And that's why you ran away?" Colleen nodded. There wasn't any reason to hide this information from Cloud Dancing now. She was sure that Doctor Mike and Sully would be up to find her in the morning. "I told them you were safe here and that you would go back when you felt you knew what you were trying to figure out." He stated as if he read her thoughts.

"Thank you." Colleen said finally after the crying stopped. "I'm sorry I was rude to you and Snowbird. I appreciate all you've done for me." Cloud Dancing apologized.

"Everyone gets upset Colleen. It's what you do with that anger and emotion that's important." Colleen nodded and laughed.

"I guess you're right." Cloud Dancing nodded. He looked up into the sky and saw the darkening sky.

"It's too late to go back today; you will stay with us tonight. Then will you go home tomorrow?" He asked. Colleen nodded.

"I will. I have to apologize to Doctor Mike and Sully as well. I've hurt them more than I ever intended to. They really do care for me." Cloud Dancing nodded.

"They do." Colleen smiled and Cloud Dancing helped her onto her feet as they walked back to Cloud Dancing's home. She came to the reservation scared, angry and confused; but Colleen was going to leave the reservation with a piece of mind about her Ma, and with the comfort of knowing the people she was returning to would love her. She figured that Doctor Mike would say something about her leaving, and she was ready to take whatever was said because she deserved everything they said because she had run off and it wasn't something she should have done without telling anybody first.


	8. Home

The next day, Colleen headed back to the homestead. She picked up the belongings that she had carried with her and walked along the path and through the woods until she got to town. When she saw the school house she smiled. She was finally home. She walked into the clinic, but Doctor Mike wasn't in the office.

"Doctor Mike?" She called out looking around. Where could she be? Colleen checked the rooms downstairs and then went upstairs to try and find her; but there wasn't any sign of her. From the balcony upstairs, Colleen could see her coming back from the telegraph office. "Doctor Mike!" She exclaimed and ran down the stairs as Michaela walked in the door. "Doctor Mike!" Colleen ran over and hugged her almost knocking the doctor over. Michaela hugged her, but then pulled away.

"You are in a lot of trouble." Michaela said and Colleen nodded.

"I know."

"How could you do something so irresponsible? You worried me, Brian, Matthew, Sully." She paused. "We had the whole town looking for you." Colleen couldn't look at her. She knew that she'd be in trouble, but she didn't realize that she had caused such a chaos for the town.

"I'm sorry Doctor Mike." She said quietly. Michaela shook her head.

"There is nothing to be sorry about Colleen." She looked at her. "You certainly are a mess. I'll take you back to homestead where you can bathe in hot water and change your clothes. Then you'll need to go over to the school. You've missed quite a bit while you were gone." Michaela stated.

"Yes ma'am." Colleen replied. She knew that Doctor Mike was still upset with her by the way she spoke, but she knew that she had caused her so much grief. They got into the wagon and went to the homestead. While Colleen was inside taking her bath, there was a knock on the door. Michaela discreetly went outside to answer it. Colleen couldn't hear everything they were saying; but it sounded like a man she was speaking to. When she got out of the wash and put on a dry dress and brushed out her hair she went outside to see Sully and Doctor Mike. "Hi Sully." Sully stared at her.

"It's nice to see you back Colleen." He said coldly. "I'm glad you're safe, but do you have any idea what you put Doctor Mike through? She's worried constantly for days about you. We weren't sure where you were or what could have happened."

"I know-" Colleen started to say.

"You just wait a minute; we should have our chance to tell you how we felt before you tell us anything about why you left." Sully stated. "You made your Ma so sick while you were gone. I hope you NEVER have to suffer the kind of pain that you put her through." Colleen nodded and hot tears fell from her eyes. "You were selfish and didn't think about anybody else when you ran off like that. How could you do something like that without saying anything! You didn't have to run away like that. Doctor Mike and I have always been willing to listen to whatever you, or Matthew or Brian has to say. We love you." Colleen looked at him.

"I know that."

"Then why did you leave?" Sully asked. Colleen wiped the tears away with the back of her hand.

"I had to figure a few things out for and about myself. I had questions that I needed the answers to. I love Doctor Mike, but it felt like she was trying to replace my Ma which she could never do. She isn't my Ma and I don't want her to fill that place in my heart like she did Brian's!" Colleen exclaimed.

"Colleen," Michaela said softly. "Is that what you are worried about?" She chuckled. "I know I'm not a mother. I am raising you and Brian because your Ma asked me to. I don't expect you to call me Ma or to become your Ma. I'm here because you need somebody. I wish you would have talked to me about this before you just up and ran away one day." Colleen nodded.

"I just couldn't take it, it felt like everybody was forgetting about Ma and making it seem like you are our Ma now." She paused. "I love you Doctor Mike, but there are things that Ma did that you can't do for me." Michaela cocked her head to the side.

"There are going to be a lot of things in your life that I won't be able to do for you that your ma would have been able to do, but I'm here to do for you what I can." Colleen nodded. "Now, you have to go to the school."

"I'll leave you two alone." Sully said and walked away.

"He really cares about us doesn't he?" Colleen asked talking about Sully. Michaela picked up the horse's reigns as they got in the wagon and rode off.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\

When Colleen first walked in the door of the school, Brian stood up and rushed over to her.

"Colleen!" He exclaimed. She laughed.

"Brian," She held him closely and ran her hand over the top of his head, "I want you to forgive me for everything I've said to you. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to hurt you." Brian nodded.

"It's alright. I'm just glad to have you back." Brian replied.

"Children, if you would please sit down so we could finish our lesson. We will have a talk when everyone else is free to leave Colleen." Reverend Johnson stated. Colleen sat down next to Becky and didn't say anything as she listened to the lessons and did her work. She truly did have a lot of catching up to do.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\

When Colleen got home from her meeting with Reverend Johnson, Matthew was in the barn with the cow. Colleen walked in and stood there watching her older brother move hay.

"Hi Matthew." She said softly.

"Doctor Mike said you were home." Matthew replied without looking up from his work.

"Yeah," she started, "I was, uh, I was at the reservation with Cloud Dancing. But I've figured out a few things and now I'm back." This time Matthew turned around to look at her.

"So you just leave when you need to think about things Colleen?" His face was turning red. "We were all worried about you. We didn't know if you'd come home and you return like everything is okay?"

"I know what I did was wrong."

"You're right about that Colleen. You never should have left. You wouldn't have done that if Ma were-" Matthew stopped in his tracks; but Colleen still knew where he was going.

"You're right! If Ma were here I wouldn't have gone because I wouldn't have unanswered questions." Colleen chuckled. "Even with that, I wouldn't have been able to get passed Ma. She was always able to stop us before we did something." Matthew chuckled at that.

"Yeah, like when Brian would go into Mr. Bray's and he would look for candy-"

"But ma always told him he couldn't." Colleen finished.

"Mr. Bray would sneak him a piece anyway." Matthew said. They laughed. "Believe it or not Colleen, we did miss you while you were gone." He looked at her. "I may not have those feelings you do about Ma being gone, but I miss her too." Matthew stated. While things were rough and Colleen was under what felt like the constant eye of everybody around her, she was learning and growing because of what she learned in her experience away from home. She was never going to do it again; but she knew what she needed to know.


End file.
